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The Lougers fight mutants. This is gonna be the standerd from here on out.

TranscriptEdit

Chapter 1- Hank Returns!Edit

  • Chronicler- (Narrating as camera is on Planet POI-SON in the Toxen System) Insert famous phrase and the week, ect ectera ect ectera, there's an evil-not really evil frog that acts like a villain from Dudley Puppy, a relivent show at the time of this episode. He's name's Hank..... Uninventive, I know.
  • Hank: "I HATE SANDY?!"
  • Jetstorm- Then do something!
  • Hank: "I WILL! BY KIDNAPPING A MY LITTLE PONY CHARACTER?!"
  • Jetstorm: "..... Oh dear god, the Producers are bronies.
  • Zombie Rat- WEEEEEE HAVE GORASSSSSRRRRRRRRRROOOOOSSSSSSS VOOOOOOOOOOICESSSSS?!
  • Hank: "DAH, DON'T EVER SPEAK LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN?!"

Cybernetics Lab

  • A Cyborg Falcon blew shit up.
  • Cyborg- I am a badass falcon that looks like a crow for some reason!
  • Hank-  I shall call ya'... MECHATALON!
  • Cyborg- That's RETARDED
  • Hank: "It's basicly a reference of what MSM thinks is cool."
  • MechaTalon- Then I LOVE IT!
  • Hank- We're attacking A Hasbro show!
  • MechaTalon- Oh dear god, the writers are bronies!
  • Hank- OOOH, The Phasers!
  • A mutanted Croc barged through!
  • Hank- DAMN IT CROCOVORE?!
  • Crocovore- I'm part of a long line of idiot brutes!
  • Hank: "LET'S JUST GO?!"

Chapter 2- Invasion on EquestriaEdit

Equestria

  • The Mane 6 started to do MLP:FIM things.
  • Twilight: MSM doesn't know us yet, so he cheats with the Internet!
  • Pinkie: I STILL THINK NIGHTMARE MOON'S AROUND BECAUSE MSM DOES!!! (To audience)... I'm hilarious and bronies will quote everything I say.
  • Hank's ship arrived!
  • The Mutants and Mechatalon attacked!
  • Mane 6: "EEEEEEK?!"
  • Celestia gets kidnapped!
  • Celestia: "AND THIS IS HAPPENING WHILE BEING WRITTEN BY SOME WHO LIKES ME?! THAT'S A DOUBLE STANDERD?!"
  • Crocovore: (He punched her unconscious) I'M TAKING CELESTIA, BYE!
  • The ship gets away!
  • Pinkie: Ahhh, swizzlesticks!

Chapter 3- Rescue MissionEdit

Dragon Temple

  • Lord Shen- (Holding a picture of Princess Celestia while overplayed sexy music plays.) Oh, god, Princess Celestia! You are one hot Alicorn! Will you marry me? (Imitating Princess Celestia) "Oh, yes, yes I will!" Wonderful! (Kisses picture, then SpongeBob comes in)
  • SpongeBob-........ Hi.

Outside Dragon Guardian Temple

  • An exploudtion was heard as Spongebob was sent flying!
  • Spongebob: "..... I'm too stupid to care because it's canonically accreate."

Communications Room

  • Twilight: "CELESTIA'S KIDNAPPED BY MUTANTED ZOMBIES WITH GROSS VOICES?!"
  • Lougers: "WE'RE ON IT?!"

Gilda and Trixie's Room

  • Trixie- Blah blah blah, me, blah blah Trixie, blah blah blah-
  • Gilda: "Mission incoming."
  • Trixie: "Drat."

Chapter 4- Hank's New PlanEdit

POI-SON

  • Hank- (Princess Celestia inside glass cage with tiny holes) HA-HA-HA! YOUR MINE!
  • Princess Celestia- I out-of-characterly find you disgusting!
  • Hank- BITCH!
  • Princess Celestia- Forget this, I'm out of here. (Uses powers, but cube-shaped energy shield deflects them back at her) OW, FUCK?! The hell is this bullcrap?!
  • Hank- A plot device to keep you from getting out easily.
  • Princess Celestia- ASSHOLE?!
  • Zombie (Wait, are they Zombie Mutants or just regular zombies, your forgeting the mutant part)- (More gross zombie talk)
  • Hank- DUDE, I DO NOT WANNA HERE THAT?! Anyway, I got your god DNA and now I'm gonna incert them to flatworms!
  • Princess Celestia- AW THAT'S NASTY?!
  • Hank- Forget you lady! Someone get the DNA! (Zombie reaches hand into glass cage, but Princess Celestia zaps it)
  • Zombie- AAARRGH! (Zombie deteriates from Celestia's magic)
  • Hank- JESUS FUCK, LADY, THAT WAS ONCE AN INNOSENT PERSON I TURNED INTO A MUTANT ZOMBIE?!
  • Princess Celestia: "..... OH MY GOD, MY HASBRO FRIENDLY IMAGE IS RUINED?!"
  • An unimpourent rat zombie snags the sample!
  • Hank- Good work, named rat henchement zombie that's never gonna be relivent ever again! Zombies? Guard the powerful sun goddess even dispite that she should be easily wail on you all should she ever escape!
  • Princess Celestia-...... Your an idiot.

Chapter 5- 65.2 Lightyears From HomeEdit

(The entire thing is fast forworded as this played)

Cause This is Filler! Filler Night! ( From the Nostalgia Critic Casper review)00:13

Cause This is Filler! Filler Night! ( From the Nostalgia Critic Casper review)

Later...

  • Mr. Dodo- (Van appears in atmosphere of POI-SON) Low and behold, Planet POI-SON!
  • Bill- Hey, uh, Dodo? Why is this planet called 'POI-SON'?
  • Mr. Dodo- Because Poisionious Volcanos.
  • Bill- Oh no! That sounds like we'll go through an intense moment of going through an intense countdown of posionious gases and acidic rain and
  • Mr. Dodo- Actselly, none of that is happening for this episode.
  • Bill: "..... That's, kinda lame actselly."
  • Mr. Dodo: "I know, missed oppertunity."

Van Storage Room

  • Gilda- (Trixie, Gilda, and Fluttershy came out of a huge suitcase and get a huge gulp of air) Why are we in here?
  • Trixie- The filler scenes mentioned that I want to prove myself and stuff. Plus, Fluttershy has a broken wing for some reason. (Suddenly, van is shot by laser cannon from Hank's base) OH NO, SOMETHING EXCITING?!

​Meanwhile...

  • Lord Shen- OH MY GOD, WE'RE SUDDENLY STAR WARS!? AND THAT ISN'T UNTIL SEASON 2?! (Van gets shot again)
  • Zombie- (Shoot down the birdie!)

OKAY, wait! Why are there zombies being able to use advanced weaponry?!

  • The Penguins scrapble and duo their typical lingo!
  • Van falls!
  • Everyone- AAAAAARRRRGH!
  • CRASH?!
  • Parachutes appeared with words that said "Plot Convinence was seen."
  • Parachutes open up from van, landing it safely on the ground, everyone inside is frozen in fear.
  • Lord Shen: "..... Well back to business."

Chapter 6- Planet POI-SONEdit

Hank's Secret Hideout

  • Hank- MechaTalon, since your my most trusted guy even though I barely know you outside of reviving you in a very pity worthy backstory, I'm gonna leave you RIGHT here next to a benvolent sun goddess who has a silver tongue. (MechaTalon salues Hank as he walks off, and guards the Princess)
  • MechaTalon- So, want me to betray that stupid frog and make me become a good guy who's rarely used in this series?
  • Celestia: "Yes because your girlfriend's here."
  • Mechatalon: "Neat. By the way, I'm Alister Beakworth now."

In the swamps of POI-SON

  • Mr. Krabs and Spongebob replay a modern series joke.
  • Rainbow Dash- Making a pointless star wars reference.
  • Squidward- Complains like a persnickity bitch!
  • Patrick- Making another pointless reference.
  • Twilight- Everyone stop, Mutant or not Zombies, remember?
  • Sam- I think the swamp might be infested with worms.
  • Max- I am making a witty stupid obversation and should be repeated on the internet.

At The Van...

  • Trixie- (Pushing open the back door quietly)... Okay, it's time to go off and- (Suddenly, a Piranhaconda (from the Syfy movie of the same name) appears and roars) AAAAAAARRRRGH! (Hides behind Gilda) I THOUGHT WE WERE HEADING TO AN ORIGINAL WORLD, NOT THE SY FY CHANNEL?!
  • Gilda: "WON'T SOMEONE SAVE US FROM THIS POORLY CONSTRUCTED CGI MESS?!"
  • Piranhaconda strikes in for the attack, but nothing happens to either of the ponies and griffin. The penguins are seen fighting it!
  • The Penguins strangle it, causing the beast to run away!
  • Skipper: ".... Well that was pointless to reference a beast that one will remember sometime after it's movie debuted. And you two-"
  • Gilda- It was Trixie's idea!
  • Fluttershy- Yeah!
  • Skipper- Oh, really?
  • Trixie- Look, the truth is...I wanted to prove myself to Merlin and you guys that I could handle this mission. Okay?
  • Private- Well, that is pretty helpful...
  • Skipper- I'm gonna put that in my nieved thoughts file, Private! Kowalski? (Kowalski writes down Private's words, and puts them in large file full of loads of paper)... HA! I lov that mean from our old show. That doesn't give you the right to go looking for trouble, Trix! Now, you girls are gonna stay here, and wait for the others to get back. Then you can explain everything to them yourselves.
  • Kowalski- Actually, Skipper, the others could use some helping hooves if you know what I mean. Also, plot demands it.
  • SkipperL "Find, but injured wing can't come!"
  • Trixie- Trixie's a healer for a non-canon reason and is something that'll end up not being talked about again.
  • Skipper- Plot convinence!
  • Trixie- (Uses magical powers to heal Fluttershy's wing)
  • Fluttershy- Wow! It worked! I can fly again!
  • Skipper: "Now we go."

Chapter 7- ZOMBIES!Edit

In a Seemingly Deserted Village

  • Intense yet comical action seen!
  • Trixie- FREEZE, ZOMBIE MUTANTS!
  • All zombies are frozen in ice!
  • Trixie- Well, that takes care of those undead and/or mutated animals.
  • SpongeBob- Trixie?
  • Icky- Gilda?
  • Twilight- Fluttershy?
  • Lord Shen- What is the meaning of this?
  • Gilda- We know. We encountered a Piranhaconda.
  • Lord Shen- A Piranha-What now?
  • Devon- A reason why fish and snakes shouldn't have sex.
  • ???- Well, you should follow me, then.
  • Icky- (Sees flamingo with prosthetic wings) Oh my god, a spontantiously appearing character!
  • The Flamingo- I'm Jasmine Flamingo, Zoologist and EPA officer. Please follow an ensuringly trusting stranger who will turn out to be worth it when I expose major stuff.

One Tragic Backstory later

  • Heroes: "We'll help you."
  • Jasmine: "Yay!"

Destroyed Van

  • (Insert Filler Joke here.)

Hank's Lair

  • Celestia and Alister leave the zombie mutants.
  • Alister: ".... Not really the best minions in the world."

Chapter 8- Showdown with Crocovore and SharktopusEdit

That Evening...

  • Hank- I think the Lougers are gonna pull some fast shit! Croco, deal with it!
  • Crocovore: "Sir!"

Outside Base...

  • Trixie: (Freezes zombies with icy breath) Twice in the ame episode!
  • All Lodgers, ponies, and Flamingo run up to the entrance, Alex tries to open door, but door is locked!
  • Kolwalski: These are electronic locks, the finest intruder-proof lock in the UUniverses. They can only be unlocked by electric currents. 
  • Skipper: Rico? (Rico hacks up dynamite, and blows up door) EVASIVE! (All Lodgers run inside)

In The Base

  • MechaTalon- I think your friends are here.
  • Celestia- It's Shen! He must be here to save me!
  • MechaTalon- Let's go to them and not check to see we're followed! (Little did they know, they were watched by a Sharktopus (from the Syfy movie of the same name) and follows them in secret)

Farther down the Hall...

  • The heroes have a tearful reunion, then Crocovore and Sharkapus barged in!
  • Crocovore- Hey, MechaTalon! You still on our side?
  • MechaTalon- Actselly my girlfriend is here, so no.
  • Crocovore- THEN I'M GONNA KICK YER ASS! (Crocovore and Sharktopus fight the Lodgers, Ponies and birds)
  • Everyone grabs Sharktopus' tentacles, and tied them up!
  • Melman: Someone's been 'knotty!' (Chuckles)
  • Mr. Krabs: "Leave the bad puns to Spongebob."
  • Kicks Crocovore with an awesome kick!
  • Crocovore- OUCH! That's it, I oughta-
  • Alister- (Fires phasers at Crocovore)
  • Crocovore- AOUCH! OKAY, NOW I'M MAD?! I'M GONNA-
  • Celestia- (Uses magical powers to blast laser at Crocovore)
  • Crocovore- (Dizzy) Holy shit, I am bad at this. (Falls in unconsciousness)
  • Icky: "And may you never make an appearence since."
  • The Heroes ran off!

Chapter 9- The Final BattlesEdit

  • Jetstorm- So, what never prior invention your gonna unvail in litterally the worse time ever to due so?
  • Hank- It's basically none other than a complete replica of the Giant Bird from the old 50's movie, The Giant Claw. (Shows Jetstorm a slumbering clone of the bird monster)
  • Jetstorm- ....... BHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOUR BRING BACK A GIANT PUPPET BIRD?!
  • Hank: "YA KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU AND GET OUT?!"
  • Jetstorm: "I wasn't suppose to ditch you until later, but, ok."
  • Jetstorm leaves.

An intense back-and-forth moment later...

  • Death Raven- RAAAAAAWWWWWWWK!
  • Hank- You're too late, Lodgers! Meet my newest creation, Death Raven! Now you all will face the bloody and atomic wrath of it's fearsome awesomene-
  • Alister-  (Gets out electromagnetic pulse emitter, and fires)
  • Hank- (Antimatter Shield is disabled)... Aw, fuck me.
  • Sandy- Gladly. Digimon?
  • Hank- WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN-
  • All Digimon- (All combined into one ultra-powered attack that sends Death Talon and Hank flying across the sky, crashing off in the distance)
  • Princess Celestia-..... I hope that didn't killed him.
  • Icky: "He'll be back for future appearences."

At Van

  • (After contending with Jetstorm.)
  • Alex: "LET'S CURE THE ZOMBIES!"

At collapsed base

  • Alex- (Large container that contained worm medicine has a hole punctured in it, which meant NO WORM MEDICINE) DOING A PLANET OF THE APE'S REFERENCE!
  • Kolwalski: TO THE GALACTIC FEDERATION!

At a Tainted Lake

  • Kolwalski- But first sample!
  • Trixie- EEEK, I GOT ONE ON ME?!
  • Lord Shen: "LITTERALLY CUT IT OUT!" (Alister grabs blade, and cuts the worm out of Trixie's leg)
  • Worm- Hi, I'm actselly a living self-aware person.
  • Po- KILL IT WITH FIRE?!
  • Lord Shen- (Throws blades at worm, and blades puncture and kill worm)
  • Worm- AAAHHHK! (Dies)
  • Lord Shen- (Takes blade out of worm, and picks dead worm up) Now that we commited murder, let's just get this dead worm to the Galactic Federation, and get this planet cleaned up, okay?
  • Kowalski- Okay, now I'm serious... TO THE GALACTIC FEDERATION!

The van

  • Kolwalski- VIA OUR VAN!
  • A faint moaning sound is heard.
  • Applejack- THE MUTANT/ZOMBIES ARE BACK?!
  • Iago- And are ice-proof now!?
  • Trixie- AND there goes my purpose in the story!
  • Po- TIME FOR BATTLE?!
  • Icky- Won't it be easier to just fly off?
  • a Rabbit Zombie's voice was heard.
  • Icky- THEY TIED IT DOWN?! DAMN IT?!
  • Po- C'mon, guys, let's go! (Po, Furious Five, Shifu, Shen and Boss Wolf go out and battle the zombies) Uh, Shifu, why do these zombies look like the wolves?
  • Shifu- IEither a trick or refused film laziness. And it will not be an issue in the series ever again.
  • Po- (Kung-Fu gang battles the zombies that look like wolves)
  • SpongeBob- (Galactic Federation ships appear in sky) Look, guys! They're here! (Space Police Cruiser flies down to Planet's ground)
  • Grand Councilwoman- Prepare to use our experimental Planet T-Score disinfection ray on POI-SON. Ready...FIRE! (Aliens fire ray, and ray lightens the planet in a bright-green glow, all zombies, and non-sentient animals on planet convert back to normal) Now let's take up all the worms for buildt up to a continuation that'll take forever to show up. (Uses tractor beam to suck dead worms off the planet)

EpilogueEdit

Dragon Temple

  • Private: "Lunacorns are like MLP ponies."
  • Twilight: "Weird."

Church

  • Ignightus- I pronounce this couple husband and wife! (Jasmine and Alister kiss)... Hey wait, WHY is my name spelled like that?!
  • Crocomile (Crocovore reformed and is no longer a big armed mutant)- (Bursting to tears) I love a happy ending! I'm also sad that I am not gonna get another appearence after this.
  • POI-SON citizens- Us, too!

Dragon Temple

  • Princess Celestia- Shen, I want a date.
  • Lord Shen- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK! (Faints)
  • Celestia: Does that happen a lot?
  • SpongeBob: Usually crazy cartoon logic eyes, then fainting.

Later, at Prison 42

  • Normal Hank was seen....
  • Poof.
  • Hank was a mutant again.
  • Hank: "..... HURRAY FOR FAMILIAIRITY!"

Fin

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